I've decided to start this blog as a way to process this crazy adventure of motherhood. I've only been on this journey officially for 8 months now, but I am beginning to realize that we (moms) have been getting ourselves prepared, whether we knew it or not, since our first breath as a babe, our first moments of being mothered.
For those who know me, they know I am honest, open, a straight shooter, and that I LOVE to discuss life. I tend to get RAW even after knowing you for just 5 minutes. I am clearly an oral processor (plus I seem to like to hear myself). I have a need to bounce ideas, thoughts, and feelings off those around me in order to help me move past them or implement them. I love to "google" whatever I am thinking about and/or have a question about, or simply want to know what others are doing and thinking about.
So when I began the journey of motherhood I started to spend A LOT of time on the world wide web. I was a googlemaniac to say the least and spent hours on helpful (and not so helpful) websites. This conscious journey started for me when I was trying to get pregnant and it just was NOT happening. It was a very humbling and trying time. I felt I had done so much "right" in my life; I had stayed out of trouble mostly, received a good education, started a great and noble career as a teacher, was an active member of a church, and lived an all around pretty blessed life. So I assumed I would follow the well known schoolyard jingle "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the BABY in the baby-carriage" easily.
Getting pregnant was NOT easy. Don't get me wrong, in the beginning it was a lot of fun. In the beginning all that "baby-making" was great. But month after month of no "baby" after all that "making" started to get frustrating, depression, and worrying. Was there something wrong? Was God punishing me? Had I waited too long to get my career going? Should I lose 10 pounds? I had always said I was open to adoption, was God calling my bluff?
